Mr. Price has recently announced a new school spirit event: the Oakland Tech Olympics. The event will take place during the first two weeks of May, and sporting events will happen while students are taking their AP tests. The competition will include sports such as a Bathroom Pass Relay, a TikTok Dance-Off, and a Ski Jump down the spiral staircase.
Senior Maverick Sportly has been lobbying Price to launch the Tech Olympics for years, following the release of the Skyline F1 Car Racing Competition in 2023.
“Students should get to show off the athletic skills they’ve acquired throughout their time at Tech,” Sportly explained. “Densely crowded passing periods and treks up numerous staircases have trained scholars for some truly incredible performances in the upcoming event.”
The promise of a 500 Bulldog Buck award for the winner of each sport category has encouraged hundreds of students to sign up and begin training for the Olympics.
“After bringing a 3-inch binder to Ms. Haugen’s class every day, I feel like I’m already super prepared for the Heavy Backpack Weightlifting Contest,” bragged junior Bruce Musclion. “Turns out that having a broken locker was actually a good thing!”
One of the most anticipated events is the High Dive, which will take place at the Temescal swimming pool.
“We’re really looking forward to spotlighting the culture keepers,” Price gushed. “They’ll be judging the volume and size of the splash.”
Experts claimed that having culture keepers as judges will change the nature of the competition, making it an entirely new, Tech-based sport.
“Instead of going for quiet dives with small splashes, competitors will need to emphasize bold and flowery jumps with large splashes,” explained High Dive expert Highly Divon. “Flamboyant dives will be important for students who want to get the culture keepers to look up from their phones.”
Another key event for Tech athletes will be a special Oakland Tech “escape-room” race to find the nearest open gate.
“As an added challenge, the competition will start at five in the evening,” explained Mr. Dieter, who has volunteered to organize the event. “Like usual, the front doors will be padlocked and the students won’t know which gates are still unlocked.”
Competitors are developing strategies for the competition. While some have been hitting the tracks to build up their speed and stamina, others have focused on studying school maps, and yet others are heading to climbing gyms to build up their fence-hopping skills.
“I don’t see anything in the rulebook that says we can’t go through the alarmed doors,” pointed out a competitor who spoke on the condition of anonymity.
The upcoming Tech Olympics will boost school spirit by celebrating the strength of our students and give our school a brand throughout the country for its unique sports that celebrate students’ accomplishments. It will be an event for the ages that is not to be missed!