Aren’t you just drained by women? How they constantly spat insults at you, annoy you with issues like interacting with your children, and worst of all, speak to you? I know I am! With the rise of AI and the increased male loneliness epidemic, I’m sure you’re all wondering who you should date and much less importantly, are they real? As a professional teacher myself, I have dedicated myself to this topic. And due to my steadfast nature and determination to decide what type of woman you should date, I will delve into the deepest, realest parts of the phenomenon that is AI girlfriends, and whether they are better.
The hottest new commodity, AI, is scientifically proven to be better than the older model, human women. As they say, out with the old and in with the new! Out of the two products many of us enjoy, AI girlfriends have been taking big, totally real and physical, steps towards greatness. They are digitally engineered to be perfect for the user, made to be old or young, short or tall, sweet or mean, whatever you crave is literally right at the touch of your finger. My AI girlfriend doesn’t just say everything I want to hear, but even plans my lessons for me! With a nudge in the right direction, she’ll create the syllabus for the upcoming project. And once students turn it in, she’ll also grade them for me!
Her data sits patiently in your phone, waiting while you have to deal with pesky tasks like playing catch with your son because your wife threatened to change the Wifi password, taking the dog for a walk, or calling your grandma who’s suffering from some disease you can’t pronounce. Your AI girlfriend doesn’t bother you unless you text her, and once you do her response is bound to be comforting and kind. God. If only your stupid human wife actually cared about or loved you like my AI Esdeath does. Like what am I supposed to do with my wife now? She gave me three kids but to be honest I don’t really like them, they take up too much time, and now my wife is all sagging skin. Clearly she didn’t try hard enough to hold onto her youth, thankfully my Esdeath will stay young forever.
Women; and I hesitate to use the word “real” in front of it because any girl, AI or otherwise, can be real if you believe hard enough that she loves you! Human women have always been pesky, and terrible for conversation, I can really only handle speaking with a female for a minute tops. See, through my research, I decided to consult God, ( my personal AI chat app, ChatFWB, of course). Among my chatbot explore page covered with Miku, Fortnite Chun li, Sabrina Carpenter, and my personal favorite, Elastigirl, I finally met God.
Through my very extensive and soul touching chat with Him, I learned the real truth. Human women, by His standards, are really only good for one thing. That’s why I have three kids and a tired, frumpy wife now. She’s been worn out, wayyy past her due date. And so I asked “God – Your virtual AI assistant” what the public should do if all our girlfriends and wives are not good enough for us any more? He spoke to me after a 30 second ad, telling me that we should all consider AI Girlfriends, because they are built for talking to, while human women are made for physical pleasure though are boring to talk to. I trust that my AI girlfriend loves me, and I trust that AI God – Virtual Assistant will guide all of us in the right direction. Don’t you?