Do you ever find yourself struggling to shove your way through a sea of students during the passing periods? Has this created issues in accessing your classes on time? Or, most likely, has this given you an immense feeling of rage at the sheer incompetence of others in the hallways? Well-bring it on in this ultimate guide of what to do in the halls.
Firstly, there are the standard rules. Laws of traffic, if you will. Everyone, walk on the RIGHT side of the hall, such that traffic can flow properly and people can walk in both directions. Those that walk at a slower pace should go on the outside, as no one wants to be stuck behind someone horribly slow.
With that covered, the unspoken rules make an appearance as well. There is a specific feeling that comes with the grievance of seeing some clueless student make a TikTok dance in the 5 minutes before class. Why, if not only to get in the way? A different fury spawns from egregiously slow students wandering across the hall. Combining an abysmally slow speed with the wandering path of numerous students only serves to clot the halls.
And then, of course, there are the inconsiderate arses who refuse to walk at all. Instead, they choose to stand in the very middle of the hallway with a collection of friends and force the unfortunate passerbiers to awkwardly squeeze their way through them. This is perhaps the worst offense. There are a multitude of perfectly harmless locations to rendezvous with friends and acquaintances, and yet large masses of people seem to gravitate towards highly trafficked areas such as the front hall.
All of these problems occur primarily during passing periods. But that does not mean that hallway behavior is not an issue during class time. Many teachers can attest to the incredible multiplicity of occasions in which they have heard blood-curdling screams in the hallway. It is important to note that not everything that happens outside of the classroom stays outside of the classroom—sounds in the hallways carry into the ears and minds of scholars who are diligently working in class.
Fortunately, humans are naturally equipped with an incredible instrument that can be used to discipline the incompetent and inconsiderate: the elbow. We propose that students take on the duty of enforcing good hallway etiquette by shoving those around them that are not obeying the unspoken rules of the hallway.
The majority of us have been generously endowed with a sharp, eagerly aggressive arm. This arm does need to be sufficiently backed by a resolute spirit—something that the underclassmen are potentially less likely to have. However, as we all spend more time walking the crammed hallways, our determination strengthens. Shoving, as it turns out, is an incredible solution.